I met this one woman....

May peace be upon us all, :)

[no camera please! Buat apa snap gambar team kalah. says the bro]

Yesterday I met one wise woman at the bank in my university. We have a little chit chat while she wait for her name to be called. Here goes the conversation, *mind you all it might not be in the exact word, but still carry the same meaning* 

"Sister, you study apa?"

'Accounting'

"What year?"

'2nd year 2nd sem,'

"Susah tak belajar?"

'I don't know, boleh la...'

"You sendiri macam mana?"

...

"Susah kan accounting, you solat tahajjud tak?"

*Bahiyah speechless* 'Nnnn..oooo'

"you kena dekatkan diri dengan allah, buat tahajud, wajib, everyday, kita kena jaga hubungan dengan allah, baru allah mudahkan urusan kita,"

*bahiyah senyum*

"I nampak you macam penat macam susah hati je."

*bahiyah senyum*

"You tak boleh macam ni, jangan duduk saja at least you berzikir, La ilaha illallah ke, ya Aziz ke ya Rahman ke, nama allah kan banyak, pilih mana yang sesuai, you mintak dengan dia, mudahkan urusan you."

*bahiyah senyum*

"You penat ke?"

'Tak tau la nak cakap, maybe?'

"You tak boleh macam ni, you must know yourself. Kita kenal diri kita, cuba dekatkan diri dengan Allah."

*Bahiyah angguk*

"To wear what Allah want is one thing, but to be closer to allah is another thing, sister. It is two different. Yang penting kena jaga hubungan you dengan allah."

Sentap! *bahiyah senyum*

"It's okay, you boleh bawak Accounting. I think you will do everything you need to do and you wont give."

'Really? You see that and me?'

"Yes I think you are like, 'I can do this, and i will do this, you are not the type to easily give up,"

'I hope I am, in shaa allah amin

"You know, when ..."

Wan Hana! "Coming!"

Bila dah ada beberapa strangers met and told you the same thing, it must be a sign from God for you to ponder upon, to 'muhasabah' and correct yourself, am I right? Hidayah tu, tuhan yang bagi, tapi kita kena cari, bila dah jumpa, hold on tight! Atau dia tarik balik bila kita hargai.

Anyway, thank you madame, and I hope we will meet again, soon. :)

See ya next time! *kalau rajin*


Till then, salam..

The truth is...

May peace be upon us all :)

(google jew)

Life is about making choices, and bearing the consequences. You pick one thing over another (the choice), the second best option can go die (the consequence). Okay I'm just kidding, let's be serious, 1, 2... 3!

This is for example -I mean my experience-, when you have to choose between megi plastic and megi cup. Guys! It's so hard to choose between megi-dalam-packet and megi-dalam-cup. You have to consider a lot of thing from many different angles (probably 2/3).

The choices:

The price for each of them is myr1.80 & myr3 respectively. Net weight of 80g & 84g respectively.

If I'm buying megi-dalam-peket, I can save myr1.20. But I have to spend on other cost -effort to ask for my friend's mangkuk, air nak basuh mangkuk, sabun basuh pinggan, electricity masa nak basuh pinggan, OMG.

Meanwhile, if I buy megi-dalam-cup, I get less content, I mean, you pay 1.20myr+ just for the cup price, it's look like a cawan so it must be pricey! 4g+ from net weight surely donated by the cup weight kan? But I don't have to the cleaning after I finished eating, well that's great. Save energy.

The consequence:

I choose any one of them, if it's megi-dalam-peket, I got more to eat, but have to spend some for the work after. If it's megi-dalam-cup, I got less to eat, but don't have messy task of cleaning.

Same goes to life.

You choose your own path. You bear the consequence of your own choice. If you make the right choice, hold on tight!

If you make mistakes, you can always reflect on em, and you'll know what you're supposed to do, repeat it, or find a U-turn.

Okay actually, I don't know what am I talking about!

See ya next time!*kalau rajin*

Till then, salam..

P/S; Oh yeah! Well the truth is... I bought both. This is not good don't follow me, instant noodle is not good for your health, what more having frequently. I'm dead serious rn!

Random Rant

May peace be upon us all, :)

(sini)

Today is the first day of Ramadhan for 1437 Hijri. I'm at my kampung rn, and I'm gonna let this post be casual, jumbling malay and english whatever.

Imperfection beneath every perfection. 

Aku tak tau apa aku nak cakap sekarang, selalunya aku ada banyak benda nak cakap, tapi malas nak type, elalunya macam tu la, tapi kalau kat instagram, aku bantai je tulis pepanjang pun, pastu aku copy paste kat sini wahahaha

okay, I just finish my final exam, 3 or 4 days ago? Im thinking of changing my major, I'm in accounting department currently, I'm planning to jump into Islamic finance, one thing about my Uni, we separate both accounting and finance, it supposed come together if I"m not mistaken. but what bother my mind is, 

1. am I at the right place?
2. should I change my major?
3. will I be happy if I do?
4. what if I make the wrong the decision?
5. what if -if stay in my current major- I fail?

I guess I'll just wait for this semester result, but I'm pretty confident I have to repeat my CM. *cry*

Okay, that's all about my study, I think.

So, one day, while taking a break after studying for final, I was scrolling instagram, my own gallery, and then I started to realize, what a boring person I was before (still am a boring person). You know what? I post picture everyday kot dulu, every single thing that happened, I post about them, E V E R Y D A Y ! ! ! omg! I was thinking (masa dok scroll ig tu) what's wrong with you girl? definitely something is wrong with you, apa yang kau nak orang tengok sebenarnya? I post about family, friends, my achievement, everything I do (yang pada masa tu aku fikir macam coolio gila, what the heck?)

aku rasa masa tu aku nak tunjuk kat orang,

'hey look I'm so kewl!',
'my family is super perfect unlike yours',
'my friends are cool! we are BBF untill jannah,'
'I'm happy with my life,',
'life is great, never better than anybody'

Tbh, it is not, I start hating what Im doing, for lying to myself, for being fake in socmeds, for not being me,I've met peeps that facing the same situation with, be it they realize it  or not, and I'm sick of this group of people, I'm sick of me...

I know why we do this, I know why we fake it all, because we want people to accept us, We want people to think of us as a perfect human being, we've been hiding this facade for as long as we've been exposed to this fake world, so now aku dah tak paham aku cakap pasal apa,

Tapi pointnya, I'm fake, and I hate myself. urghhh! Kalau rajin aku edit balik.

See ya next time!*kalau rajin*

Till then, salam..

My Morning Rant.

Right now I feel like giving up. I have exam this afternoon, not really afternoon, it's on 2.30pm, and I don't know anything about how I'm gonna answer the paper. 

I've listed down some options in my mind, a backup plan for this event;

1. I'm just gonna go sit for the exam, answer questions that I know and wait until the invigilator said "time's up!".

2. I'm just gonna go sit for the exam, do just like the above option, but... go out early.

3. Not going at all.

The first option, people will see, it's obvious, that I wouldn't be writing anything, since I probably gonna be answering one question ONLY. Or they won't, only focus at their paper.

The second option, if I go out early, madam will find it weird, she might or might not check my answer booklet, and find out that I messing up!

The third and the last option, what a coward! This girl seriously?! Duh!

Yes I know, I should start studying right now, I mean "revising notes" rather than updating blog(?) I don't know, I feel helpless and -how do I put this- putus asa(?), down I just wanna scream, f*** this s*** (oops!) or maybe I should sleep rather than cursing  at 'ilmu, God forgive me. Huhu

I'm at the bottom of my life, I guess? Next semester will be better, I'm wanna do better, I can't swear, because I never can keep a promise I made to myself, very the useless of me. But I'm gonna change my major, yeah, changing major isn't really helping, the thing is, me myself should make a change to myself, hooo! Yeah yeah, next semester, I'll do better, in shaa Allah, amin. 

...

Sarawak for the first time!

May peace be upon us all. :)

This post have been in the waiting list since last year, and I don't feel like blogging it anymore. pfttt! But one I thing I wanna highlight from this trip, I feel belonged, the participants and me... I enjoyed this trip so mucho! Moving on, so let me just belanja you guys pics of the trip:

 Touch down! Yay!

First day: Waterfront? And Dewan Undangan negeri Sarawak.

Homestay, movie night, we cooked (catering bureau kateko!)

Second day: and kids.

 First time meeting our mak.

This Nia, or Mia I guess? Trust me, she's a cute girl, it just my camera that ...

This is Mimi, I don't know why apak called him Mimi but he's a male kitty.

There was a story behind why they kept this cat as a pet. There was this time, Nia was running a high fever. The family was so worried and then this cat suddenly appear, in front of their house (but not like *pling!* and magically appear la), and Nia recovered from the fever. just like that. So they decided to kept this cat as Nia's friend.

This my housemates y'all, opss! My kakak angkat I mean, heee to the left, kak Nisak, kak Wani, kak Idah, and me. :D

Us, mak, and the supervisors. Last day. *cry a river*

Can you tell which one is Gunung Santubong and Gunung Sejinjang?

Annndddddd....... shout out to my BFF masa kat Sarawak, MUS wuuuuuuw!

 UniMas and us. This is us, not all, but us.

Bye  Bye Sarawak!

There were a lot more to talk about Sarawak, a lot like, a lot! The home stay, School things, Rewang shopping, lalu celah celah lorong, discover lots of hipster  restaurants, okay I should stop now. But I dont feel like typing it, plus if  I'm going to do that, it gonna start with 'filling the form' moment which is embarrassing ughh I cannot! okay I think that's all.

See ya next time!*kalau rajin*

Till then, salam...

[Tengok sini]

Hikmah or muhasabah?

May peace be upon us all... :)

(tengok sini)

"It's not about Cost Management, it's about you and Him"

Says my lecturer when I called to inform that I didn't took the midterm exam last Friday.

I mistaken my exam time, thought it was on 8pm but it's actually 3PM. Nevermind it's not the main point pun... So what I'm gonna be bebel tonight is the ibrah(s) that I got from this experience.

1. When I hello my madam Hayati( I love her seriously!) she have just arrived from Malacca, and so tired.

"A quick call would do" she said.

So I phoned her right at that moment, panic weh! Tak terfikir pulak madam penat ke apa, huhuhu. Upon hearing madam's voice, I burst into tears, and madam calmly ask me what had happened, tho she said she's so tired.

point here: Be mature, keep yourself in control, or you gonna break people's heart.



2. When I tell madam about what happened, she didn't asked me too much things too detail whatsoever. Perhaps she can sense that I'm a nervous wreck! Very understanding, she told me what should I do, the procedure and stuff.

I was relieved, but still aku nangeh sampai tak boleh cakap satu apapun dah! And madam give me advice.



THIS IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THIS LONG POST! Brace yourself.


Madam said
"Take this as a lesson to you, maybe you have done something wrong to Him, and what had happened is just one way to make you realize and muhasabah."

'Okay' I said.

"I don't know what you have done wrong, it's not my privilege, but you know yourself better kan...?"

"Hmmm, okay madam" lap ayaq mata.

"Alalaa don't cry, it's not about Cost Management, it's about you and Him, as for me, I can do what best I can do, at least you still have an option, because it is only midterm exam, as for you, work harder, and repair your relationship with Him"

'Yes okay' I said, sobbing.

And the rest is history.
___

So this "takpe la tu, ada la hikmahnya benda dah jadi" sentence is so common people no longer find calm upon hearing it. But when madam advice me to muhasabah, I was speechless kejap, deep sangat tu madam. But it works! Thanks God & madam.

The problem had been resolved, I have to work harder for my final exam since the mark will be carried forward, it's /65 gaizz! *CRY* pray for  me.




See ya next time!*kalau rajin*

Till then, salam..